So they’re really going ahead with this

28 11 2011

If you’ve been following (has anyone been following?) the stories so far, you’ve seen a few posts on the turmoil in my church.  And now it’s finally happened – they’ve called a congregational meeting to decide if they should split from PC-USA and join with the Evangelical Presbyterian Church.

So I’m torn.  Or I was torn.  No, I’m still torn.  The grief over losing my church home has eaten at me for months now, and while it seems like it should be getting better, it really doesn’t.  I still play out endless fantasy conversations in my head with the people on the other side of this issue.  I have my fantastic “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” – or “Katherine Goes to Church” – imaginings, in which I stand up in the congregational meeting and eloquently show them why they are wrong, followed by some sort of tearful reunion and them telling me I was right all along.

Which, when you write it all down, looks really, REALLY stupid.

Because who are we kidding, really.  This board of elders has willfully, knowingly, and sinfully manipulated the situation by playing on all the worst fears of a congregation.   I’ve heard so much crap… they’re going to change the Apostle’s Creed!  We’ll be forced to have a gay minister!  None of it is true, but the session hasn’t done a thing to correct it because it plays so well into what they want to do.

I talked about going to the meeting with my mother.  She told me she’d take me, but she’d wait for me in the parking lot because there was no way SHE was going to sit through that.  She, like me, has made her decision to be done with this church.  And in that light, what would be the point of going to the meeting?  No matter what the outcome of the vote is, there is no going back.

And yet, on the other hand, Best Friend thinks I should go to the meeting to tell them why I’m leaving.  Why so many of us are leaving.  BF thinks that there are others in the congregation who probably feel as I do, but have felt silenced or afraid to voice their thoughts, and that it could make a difference if I were to say something at the meeting.

So I’m back to composing again.  I think BF has a point.

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